Advent calendar with optional activity

We’ve been using a canvas wall advent calendar I made years ago (this one is similar). Our’s has held up to the test of time. Sometimes I print off our verse cards with optional activities, and some years there is just some candy and I read something from one of our favorite advent books. The pockets are big enough to hold lots of candy and so we are able to use it for the whole family. I usually put in a different kind of candy each year and vary it through the month. Also, I don’t fill it all ahead of time because.. well that would be too tempting and plain dumb!

Add to our nativity set

We made a cute little set a couple years ago with peg dolls and because we let the kids play with it, we inevitably have new pieces to make or add in for fun. It is a simple peg doll kit you can get at Hobby Lobby. We just used the felt pieces you can get for under a dollar there as well. Here are some instructions to make your own

Supplies needed you can find at most craft stores or here online:

• Wooden peg doll kit
• Felt fabric pieces
• Hot glue gun and glue
• Scisoors for cutting

Gingerbread houses with graham crackers

Every year we make gingerbread men cookies, but not houses. Like I said, we keep it simple around here.

We aren’t about to go spend  $100+ on 9 gingerbread house kits either.

“Sorry  kids, one less gift this year because we bought gingerbread houses that you were frustrated to make and we wouldn’t let you eat until they were stale and dry!” hehehe. But seriously.

However, we do make these little graham cracker “gingerbread” houses that the kids love to create and we actually let them eat them when they want to. They’re small enough and I don’t actually want a bunch of gingerbread houses laying around all season anyway. 

Buy the kids a themed ornament every year

My hubby and I have a standing date at the start of the season where we do a couple things together to prepare. First up, we buy a themed ornament for each child every year that they will take with them when they leave. This was a tradition my parents started and when I got married, I got to take quite an assortment of sentimental ornaments with me. We always have a memory tree now, and that’s totally fine with me. Maybe someday we’ll have a designer tree, but likely not! For now, I love this tradition and the kids are so excited to see what we’ve bought them each year. We sharpie their name and the year on the bottom and hope they last through until they leave our home. Most won’t, but that’s ok too. 

Secondly we pick out our wrapping paper we’ll be using for the season at Hobby Lobby. They have the best options at a great price. You get a huge roll and can find many coordinating patterns. 

Our favorite stores with charming affordable ornaments

• World Market
• Target
• Hobby Lobby

Make inexpensive crafts from Hobby Lobby 

Every year when I am out doing my first solo outing, I pickup 2-4 easy craft kits from Hobby Lobby to have on hand. These are super affordable and have everything needed to make a fun ornament or gift for someone that I can pull out whenever we have a free evening. They’re cheap enough that I don’t care if the toddler paints all of it, but challenging enough that the middle schoolers usually want to join in, too.

Take the kids shopping to buy gifts

We put a spending freeze on come November. You aren’t allowed to buy anything for yourself so that you save your extra money for gifts. We keep a list of pay chores they can do throughout the month as well. Then we  take each group of kids shopping to the dollar store, Target or Walmart, stores that are affordable and easy to price check. Each child carries a shopping basket with their coat over so no one can peek. An older sibling takes them through the aisles and helps them with the math. We also let them pick out a wrapping paper of their own to wrap their gifts in. This really helps keep the focus on the excitement of giving instead of receiving. They get so much joy in anticipation of giving instead of receiving.

Cutting down our own Christmas tree in the National Forest

Usually the Friday after Thanksgiving, or very soon thereafter, we go “hunting” for a tree. We’ve kept up this tradition through all the babies since the first year we were married! This is one of our favorite traditions and we have lots of fun and crazy memories of these trips. Some years we have an abundance of snow and bring sleds. Some years there has been no snow and we find a tree in less than an hour. It’s so fun to see how far we have to trek each year to find that perfectly imperfect tree. We always have cocoa, coffee and candy canes packed along. Sometimes, we bring chilli with us to eat up there after.

Decorating the tree and house

We have learned to get 2 Christmas tree tags now, because I love decorating with real boughs around the house. The Sunday after we get our tree we pull out all of those saved, sentimental ornaments and ALL the rest of the decor and start decorating the tree. If we get to the rest of the house, that’s great, but otherwise we just decorate as I go through the week after that. I keep it super simple, with lots of fresh natural greenery, white lights and a few fun things added in each year I find on clearance. Every year Nick’s goal is to add one more item to our outside lighting display, as well. 

Pajama ride to see lights

Once the season has been kicked off we love to wake the kids up after they’ve been tucked in for a surprise ride to get a treat and see the lights in some special neighborhood on display. Some years we’ve made it extra special with cocoa in the car and a special ‘golden ticket” Polar Express style. Other years, we’ve gone through Dairy Queen or just taken an extra route through a highly lit neighborhood on our way home from somewhere.

Watch our favorite Christmas movies

I know this is the top pick for most families, but in case you see any new ideas below I’ll include ours. Be sure to leave your favorites in the comments below, too.

Our favorite movies that we cycle through each year are the following:

• It’s a wonderful life
• Little women
• The nativity
• The Star
• Elf
• Santa Claus
• The Family Man

Make candy cane tracks to leave on windshields

Some years we put together a larger homeless kit to pass out to the needy we have in our area, but since our town has a huge ministry for this, we often just leave tracks with candy canes with a sweet encouraging note and verse to leave on people’s windshields when out shopping. It’s also a fun activity to prep with the kids in the evening. Tying the little notes on each candy cane and having them help decide which verse and what to say are a fun activity. You can easily make your own, like we did, or here’s a fun free one!

Deliver gifts to neighbors

A few days before Christmas we deliver a homemade goodie to our neighbors. The kids usually help me make and package up these and then we all walk around the neighborhood together delivering them. We focus on the families we know well, or who have just moved in near us. This number usually doesn’t exceed 10 families, so it’s not a huge amount. 

Here’s what we normally make that is an affordable and easy to scale option:

• Cranberry orange sourdough loaf
• The easiest caramel corn- except I use honey in place of corn syrup and add spices.
• Mini cinnamon rolls

We don’t do this EVERY year, but definitely the ones when we have new neighbors to meet. 

Of course there are the usual Christmas parties to go to, cookies to bake and exchange and recitals to attend, and treats to make and eat, but these activities are always on our list to choose from each season. I hope they’ve given you some fresh inspiration and ideas to try in yours.

Pin to save & share 12 Christmas Traditions we actually do

As always, thanks for being here in my little corner today, friend!

In HIs service,

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I hope you can enjoy these books and some cozy moments with your family this season, as well!

Blessings,

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Fall favorite picture books

1. Homeplace by Ann Shelby

This was a new book to us this year and we fell in love with it! Such a sweet story about a grandmother telling her granddaughter the origins of the family homestead 5 generations back. Our kids loved tracking which generation is being referenced and what changes they’ve made to the homestead. Told in a sweet lyrical style, but not too wordy.

2. Bear Says Thanks by Karma Wilson and Jane Chapman

Our boys have loved the Bear Snores On series from forever, and this newer one is a fun retelling of the animals little Thanksgiving feast they collaborate one.

3. Bearskin by Howard Pyle

We’ve enjoyed several of Pyle’s books especially the cheeky Old English Robin Hood! Pyle, always the creative story teller, weaves a tale that has echos remnant of greek and roman myths with a compelling storyline!

4. From Seed to Pumpkin by Wendy Pfeffer

A fun story illustrating the entire process of growth a pumpkin goes through from seed all the way to harvest for your inquisitive little minds. You get to see underground and inside the plant as it grows along it’s journey to harvest.

5. In a Pumpkin Shell by Joan Walsh Angland

This Mother Goose ABC nursery rhyme book is one of our favorites! With enchanting lyrical prose and poems you can enjoy with your little in any season.

6. Saint George and the Dragon retold by Margaret Hodges

This made the list as it has some gorgeous fall scenery and scapes in this beautifully illustrated retelling of an epic tale. Hands down, one of the top favorite picture books of our boys. This is a sweeping story of courage and perseverance until final victory. A retelling of Spenser’s The Faerie Queen.

Chapter books we enjoyed last quarter

7. The Blue Hill Meadow by Cynthia Rylant

This is a charming watercolor illustrated little chapter book my 4th grader enjoyed. The books takes you through the seasons with this charming anthropomorphic family living among the Blue Hill Meadows.

8. The Green Ember by S.D. Smith

We are circling back around again with this series for the younger boys and they are engrossed! A riveting tale of animal adventures you’ll be sure to get hooked on and enjoy the entire series through the season! If you like the Redwall series, you’ll enjoy these!

9. Poppy by Avi

This is a book we are reading for a bookclub with our coop, and although it is the 3rd book in the series, we heard it is the best one to start with. We have really enjoyed the conversations the story has prompted and the tale of heroism and bravery. It certainly could be read independently for confident readers, but it’s a great riveting story to discuss as a read aloud, as well. A brave mouse defies her family to find out the mystery behind why an owl keeps them under his “care”.

The post Favorite Fall picture books and read alouds appeared first on A Legacy In Days.

We can see moments of conflict as opportunities to teach them the invaluable biblical principles of restitution, resolution, repentance, forgiveness, loving our neighbor and so much more.

Training them while they are in our home how to biblically handle conflict is not just our responsibility as their parents, but can make our home life sweeter, foster loving sibling relationships, and will give them valuable life skills for their future as well.

Of course we don’t do this perfectly and our children struggle with greed, covetousness and unloving responses on a daily basis! But we can rest in knowing we are giving them the opportunity to practice and learn valuable life lessons and build character here in our home first as we seek to honor the Lord in this. However, we have seen the fruit of less strife and more enjoyment in each other with what we have learned and sought to apply over the years.

Basic principles for teaching children how to share and play together

It is helpful to first establish some basic principles for your home that you have as a foundation for how you will handle situations. This will help to give you clarity as well as enable you to be more clear and consistent with application. I encourage you to do this for your own home. Try to take some time, preferably as a couple, to get clarity on some principles of conduct in your home.

Seek the Word of God together and also look at your unique family dynamic and pitfalls. Every family is different and has differing needs. For example, with our large family of primarily boys, we had to be clear on physical limitations as well as reinforcing respect for other’s property. You might have a different dynamic that includes different specifics.

The principles we apply are based on our desire to establish Biblical character not just manage behavior. We want our children to learn contentment and that all things come from the Lord and we are merely to be grateful stewards of them. Teaching them how to love others more than themself and having a servant’s heart is also of primary importance to us.

Some basic principles of conduct for sharing and playing together

• Ask first
• Accept no for an answer
• Treat others’ property with respect
• Playing is to be mutually fun for all parties
• Restitution for destruction or stealing
• Do unto others as you would want to be treated
• No hitting
• Kind and gentle touching and words

How we teach this in the toddler years

Practice practice practice!

Teaching sharing and playing nicely in the toddler years requires the most time and patience from us as parents, but will be the most fruitful if we do our work here. This season is all about training and instructing how and what to do.

When we take the time to model the correct positive behavior and responses we will spend less time navigating the wrong ones. Little kids are learning and their sin natures will naturally tend towards selfish responses, but they need to be shown primarily what the right behavior looks like. Their instincts are going to be sinful but they need to learn what that even means, and that can happen with practice, and demonstration. When a conflict arises, we try to quickly address the wrong behavior, make apologies as needed, and then practice the correct responses for all involved.

Of course it is important that we correct their sinful responses, but we can spend all day doing that and not make any headway in our training if we are not teaching them the right responses and how to handle what they are feeling in a godly way.

Teaching how to share

For our large family, we try to not exacerbate littles by making toys primarily a sharing experience not an opportunity to breed more covetousness and greed by letting littles hoard toys or keep them to themselves.

We want to encourage our children that playing together and sharing is the better and more fun way to play and that everyone should work and do their part to help them all have fun.

Some practical ways we do this is by having the older children keep only a few special toys in their bedrooms , and the rest of the shareable toys out and accessible to all.

If a child wants to play with a toy that sibling is playing with they must wait patiently and play with something else, but we also encourage the sibling to help the other one find a toy to play with while they wait.

We store most of our sharing toys in bins and only have a few out at a time so that the children do not become overwhelmed as easily trying to decide what to play with. Or we can get another bin out for a child who is waiting a turn with a toy.

Some of our favorite toys for sharing:

• Duplos
• Legos
• Magna tiles
• Animals, dinosaurs and action figures
• Wooden blocks
• Playdough
• Dress ups
• Nerf guns
• Wooden Weapons
• Hot wheels

Teaching how to share as they get older

As the children get older and have the ability to care for their possessions, we let them keep a few special things in their room in a designated drawer or at least out of the reach of little careless hands. They learn stewardship this way and how to manage what they have. However, they are still encouraged to give their younger siblings observed turns and to share with each other and play together.

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Some toys that are personal or “special” toys:

• Small individual lego sets
• GI joes
• Decorative toys
• Art supplies
• Model cars

Bible verses for teaching children to share and play together

Being consistent in the formative years when children are little lays the invaluable foundation needed for when they are older. They won’t be free from greed or covetousness, but they will have the tools for handling it when they are. This is what we want to give our children! Tools and resources for how to combat their sin and overcome it as they are sanctified and learn to rely on their own Heavenly Father for strength.

Some verses that we have our children memorize and are helpful during this time are the following:

John 13:35 “By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

Romans 12: 10 “Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.”

Ephesians 4:32 “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

Philippians 2:3 “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.”

Luke 12:15 “Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.”

Teaching loving sibling relationships

We don’t really give our children the option of not getting along with a sibling. Instead, we remind them of their mutual love that is objectively a part of being in our family. They then must learn HOW to work that out, instead of catering to the natural selfish tendencies of withdrawing, pestering and belittling.

Our perspective is that our children are each other’s best friends! We reinforce this by reminding them of this all day long. We repeat to them that they love their brother and their brother loves them, that is why we treat each other with kindness.

Sometimes there are situations that particular children just aren’t getting along with each other. Maybe there is a wrong that needs to be made right and so we encourage them to keep short accounts with each other by confessing sins right away.

Other times, they just are annoyed or jealous and letting that take root in petty annoyances with each other. We try to get to the heart of the issue as soon as possible in that case. If we can’t get to the bottom of it and find resolution, we typically will have them spend MORE time together. I know this seems counterintuitive, and as parents we would rather not deal with that, but things usually get resolved as they learn to work it out. We’ll give them chores to do together or have them sit next to each other even! hehe

For example, sometimes it shows up by not wanting to hold hands during family prayer before our dinner. So we’ll have them hold hands for an extra minute nicely. This usually works! They have to just learn to get over whatever it is and work it out! This is also a good reason it is healthy for kids to share rooms together.

Our kids really are each other’s best friends and love spending time together. It is a gift from the Lord and a delight to witness, but it requires work!

Teaching children to share and play together in review

Let’s review! Here are some ways you can practically teach your children how to share and play together-

• Establish some rules for conduct in your home based on teaching biblical character rather than managing behavior.
• The little years are for learning through demonstration and lots of practice with the focus on positive behavior.
• Mutual fun is the goal of play, not lording over each other or greedily hoarding.
• As they get older teach them the principles from God’s Word of stewardship as well as kindness as they learn to lean on Him for strength to combat their sin.
• Communicate that the nature of their relationship is already established as being each other’s best friend, and have them confess sins as soon as possible.
• Not being in fellowship is not an option. They must work it out. More time together helps this, not less.

I hope this post today was helpful, and if it was please let me know in the comments. If you have any follow up questions I’d love to hear them!

Thanks for being here in my little corner today friends!

In HIS service,

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You’re rushing around trying to remember everything you need to bring to get out the door in the morning. The toddler doesn’t want to eat breakfast, and you can’t find the 3 year old’s shoes. You are trying to collect the library books to return just to have your 6 year old come tell you they don’t have any clean pants and then the baby has a blow out! This used to be me- it felt like every time we were getting ready to leave in the morning somewhere!

But after I strategized through trial and error I found getting out the door with my 9 children became much easier. We were able to arrive on time and in a calm manner most of the time, as well! That’s why I’m excited to share with you today some of my simple strategies for how to make leaving the house with kids easier!

I know you’re here for the tips- so let’s get right into it with a brief disclaimer first.

How to make leaving the house with kids easier- disclaimer

Some of these tips, you’ll notice require some advanced planning. It’s easy to be tired at the end of the day and tell ourselves we’ll do it tomorrow when we’re fresh. But, is that really what happens? Or we’ll do it later when we have more time. When will that be? Or we tell ourselves, it’s not that big of a deal and we’ll figure it out later. But the next day, it feels like a really big deal.

If nothing else, advanced planning gives us an opportunity to do the same things that we will be forced to do later when we can choose to do them instead. We can choose to get ahead, which is a much more rewarding and satisfying feeling than feeling rushed and behind.

There will be the inventible blow out, or tantrum that we can’t control, but we can instead anticipate these. A little advanced planning can maximize our margin for those predictably unpredictable moments.

Create a manageable storage system

How many of us have spent a frantic 10 minutes running around trying to find that missing shoe as we’re trying to head out the door? Having a shoe system can help minimize tracking down shoes.

Create a designated shoe storage area

Firstly, setup an area, if you have it, near the door you exit frequently. A shoe shelf, basket, or boot tray will do. Assigning a home to the shoes is key to finding them later. Even if they are tossed nearby, the area will be defined and more easier to manage.

Separate play shoes from nicer shoes

Secondly, keeping “play” shoes and “going out” shoes separate. This can help lesson the occasions you have to hunt down a shoe in the yard or find it muddy somewhere right before you need to leave.  We store the kids church shoes and nicer shoes that they wear for outings on a shelf in their bedroom. Anywhere that you can access easily that your younger kid’s can’t will suffice. Then leave out their designated “play” shoes in your storage area near the door they exit frequently.

Kids won’t always put their shoes where they go, but this help minimize the occurrences of getting left outside or muddied. When you come home, put their “nice” shoes away and then keep play shoes accessible for them.

We prefer crocs and flip flops for play shoes in the summer and rubber boots in the spring and fall. We also have tennis shoes for riding bikes etc. But these are usually different than their play shoes.

Having designated places for shoes helps kids know where to put their shoes when they come in and go out. Even if the don’t always do it.

Bonus tip: On laundry day, toss a few socks for your young children in a basket  near their shoes by the door you exit frequently! 

 Pack the night before

Set out or pack what you need the night before, especially if you plan to leave in the morning. This tip takes the most advance planning, but ensures you don’t have a missing shoe or no clean pants when it’s time to go in the morning. A little time spent checking for what you need the night before, packing it, and setting it by the door, will create a greater sense of calm in the morning and likely give you that buffer for the inevitable disruption. It’s less of an issue to change a blowout or deal with a meltdown calmly when everything else is ready.

Again, it’s easy feel too tired in the evenings, but you’ll still likely feel harried in the morning anyways and might not have what you actually need to leave. Better, to do what you can the night before, and instead enjoy the morning with your kids.

 Bonus tip: Get yourself ready first! Then you can calmly help everyone else without feeling as rushed and frantic.

Practice problem points

When you have more time

Practice make progress! If you work on the difficult points of leaving when you DO have a bit more time- like getting shoes on quickly, learning to tie laces, or buckling up- the next time usually goes better. Practicing can not only be for your child, but also for you. When you are not rushed and frenzied it’s easier to have more patient and impactful responses to your child and your teaching will be better received than when you’re stressed and rushed.

Practice when you’re not leaving anywhere

You can also use days you are home to practice cheerful obedience on the more difficult points. Tying shoes can be learned at anytime. So can learning to buckle in! Bring the car seat inside and have your toddler have fun getting in and out of it when it’s NOT time to go. When it’s time to leave, everyone, including mom, will be ahead of the curve.

Bonus tip: Try to make it a fun game, and offer rewards when they DO it! i.e. bubble gum for everyone if they load up cheerfully!

Plan your LOAD time. 

Planning a load by instead of leave by time! This is the time that everyone needs to be loading into the car instead of time you need to be pulling out of the driveway. It is key to be able to show up on time somewhere. Not only that, you will prevent those predictably unpredictable moments from eating up the time you should have been leaving by. AND, you can arrive where you’re going much more calm and collected.

Calculating your load time

This requires a bit of math.

1. Subtract your arrival time, by your drive time
2. Add 10+ min. (for that blow out, poop someone’s gotta take or toddler meltdown. )
3. This is your “load by” time

This will help you arrive, not only on time, but in a less harried and rushed state. 

Bonus tip: Give everyone a “leaving in 15 min. countdown” to your load by time- including yourself! Then use those extra minutes if nothing unpredictable happens, to load the dishes or switch the laundry if desired.

How to make leaving the house with kids easier in summary

Let’s review! Here are your strategies to implement to make leaving the house with kids easier, your life calmer, and your outings together more memorable.

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1. Set up a shoe storage system
2. Pack the night before
3. Practice problem points
4. Plan your load time not leave time

I hope this post has helped you and gives your life a greater sense of calm in the midst of chaos, and enables to you to be present to fully enjoy these moments with your kids.

Thanks for being here today, friend!

In His service,

The post How to make leaving the house with kids easier appeared first on A Legacy In Days.

"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise),  “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” Ephesians 6:1-3

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How to help little ones obey? Establish connection

If we seek first to establish connection and a foundation of care and love, our children will naturally desire to listen to us and please us. God treats us this way. He cares for us, and points to that as He asks us to follow Him. So, let’s jump right into some practical ways we can do this.

Listen to them

It’s easy to think that by listening to our child we are automatically agreeing with what they are saying and doing. But, that’s not the case. When we listen to them, not only are we more able to properly assess the situation and their heart, but we also communicate many positive things to them. It communicates that you value them and care about them. This helps to establish a relationship of trust and understanding. When your child feels they can trust your care of them, they will feel loved. Feeling loved will better equip your child to listen to you and receive your instruction and correction.

Even if your child is throwing a tantrum or whining, we can still help the situation by listening to what they are trying to communicate before we rush in to respond or get them to stop. I have avoided many battles with my little ones just by finding out they had a small grievance, like a twisted sock, that was bothering them they just needed help with. Once they know we are there to help them, we can defuse many issues and tantrums and then have the opportunity to teach them the right responses.

Listening to them throughout the day to what they want to share with us is also important. Being ready to listen to their little stories or needs will help them feel heard, understood and loved. The more you can do this throughout the day, the more they will readily want to reciprocate and hear what you have to say.

Bonus tip: Listen fully and repeat back what you heard before responding.

Slow down and get down

Secondly, we can establish connection with our children by slowing down and getting down at their level. I mean literally, squatting or kneeling down. This enhances your ability to listen to them as well- my first point. If they’re throwing a tantrum, whining, or just talking to get attention, getting down at their level will immediately signal to them that you are fully present. Taking the time and posture to pay attention to them will help them know that you value them and are ready to help them.

It’s simple and effective to emphasize your intention to create an atmosphere of care and love for them. The more you can do this throughout the day, the more they will readily want to reciprocate and hear what you have to say. Getting down at their level is a way we can “show up” for them. Simple, but powerful.

Bonus tip: reach out and hold that chubby sweet little hand while you’re down there and give a hug when the conversation is finished! 

Make eye contact

Following along with the previous point, while we are taking time to intentionally listen to our littles, getting down at their level when speaking to them, it is also important that we look them in the eye when we’re giving them an instruction or command. When children are still young, and learning what obedience looks like, we need to make sure we are doing our part as parents by being clear and direct. So, making eye contact and being sure they hear us and understand, to their ability, will help equip them to obey what we’ve said.

It’s so easy in a busy household (believe me- I understand!) to just toss around this or that directive willy-nilly not even sure if it was heard or not. This can lead to us becoming frustrated at commands not being obeyed, but also lead our children to frustration as they weren’t even able to have a chance to hear that command. If we are intentional to make eye contact when giving instruction we can be more sure our child has heard us. It also keeps us from casually throwing around instructions, and instead helps us be intentional with what we are expecting of them.

Bonus tip: Smile whenever you’re looking at your child! They will learn to do the same! 

Lower your voice

Ok, I know this is a tough one! But, trust me on this! If you feel like raising your voice- something’s wrong, likely even just proximity. Now, I understand there are times you need to get a child’s attention or call them from a room down the hall, but if you are raising your voice in frustration- try to immediately take it DOWN and also take a more serious tone instead.

There are times where a child has committed a sin with more gravity that needs a firmer reprimand. That doesn’t necessitate yelling. If you lower your tone to a grave one and quiet down not only will it necessitate you to get in closer proximity to the child you are addressing, it also lets them know you REALLY mean business, without becoming angry. This is how you can express the gravity of a particular correction and still keep your own heart in check and obedient. 

Bonus tip: Hold your child’s hand as you speak to them this way. This communicates love and concern while still being very firm.

In Conclusion

Obedience in these formative years sets them up for obedience in the later years. When they desire to hear our voice and follow us, they are more prepared to hear their Saviors’s voice and follow Him, as well. We can make this easier for them by laying down a solid foundation in the beginning. A foundation of love, care and trust, as our Heavenly Father does for us.

Let’s review some of the simple ways I shared how to do that:

1. Listen to them
2. Slow down and get down at their level 
3. Make eye contact when giving an instruction and command
4. Lower your voice- when you feel like raising it.

I hope this post has encouraged you and given you some practical ideas to go practice in your own home, with your little ones! These are precious years, and the time taken to train and teach them now will bear much fruit later.

Thanks for being here!

In His Service,

The post How to help little ones obey appeared first on A Legacy In Days.

With more open time, summers can feel long with busy active kids! Boys, especially, can benefit from some guidance and focus for all their energy. Summer is a great time for learning and for doing new things. Never underestimate the power of play! I am always amazed how much the kids have matured, developed and learned over the summer when falls roles around again. Play and work are healthy and impactful ways children can be learning even without formal education time. This is why I’m excited to share with you today these screen free ways we keep our boys busy in the summer! Plus a booklist with some of our favorite series to binge.

Set parameters on screen time

First of all, the easiest way to encourage more screen-free activities for our kids is to set. parameters around screen time. The kids will inevitably ask to play all day if they think the option is available, so we designate certain times and days for screen time, as well as certain requirements they do before it. Games and tv have different rules. We have different boundaries on screen time that the kids can do together and ones that they do alone. This minimizes their default to screen time and naturally encourages them figure out something else to do!

Include them in our projects

Because we homeschool with our 9 children, the summer is our go time to get other projects done. We have an acre of property, so there is always summertime yard work, projects and landscaping to do. Home renovations and updates are also getting cranked out while we have nice weather and a bit more free time. So, one of the ways we keep the boys busy is having them help us. They actually really love working with us, whether it’s shoveling dirt to help landscape or learning alongside us how to paint a wall! Even the 5 year old loves to help any way he can. They learn life skills while also enjoying time with us. It’s a win win! The older boys now have skills that they have been hired by others to use.

Give them jobs to earn extra money

In the same context, we have reoccurring maintenance jobs, as well as project jobs that we pay the boys to do for us. This gives them some fun extra spending money, or an opportunity to save up for something they want to do or purchase. This includes things like deep cleaning inside, helping with projects or landscaping, regular maintenance chores like cleaning out the cars etc. We want to teach them that money is equated with work. They know that we will provide their basic needs and wants, but they learn young to work for the extras.

Pin to save these screen free ways we keep our boys busy in the summer!

Facilitate their interests

Our boys are really into mountain biking and trick biking right now. This is their sport of choice, so we do whatever we can to help them pursue this healthy hobby. Some of the ways we do this, is helping them have the tools they need for repair, find good deals on bikes and parts, and taking them to trails and parks. We’ve also picked up biking as a family activity, which we love! I now have a pull behind trailer for the youngest 2, so we can all bike together. Although I’m not mountain biking, it is still a fun healthy hobby we can all enjoy together.

Learn a new hobby or skill

Summer is a great time to learn a new skill or hobby. When the boys express interest in something we try to help them find opportunities to pursue it as well as fit them with the supplies needed. One of the challenges for hobbies can be the mess they makes, so we try to designate a special day together and also work during the baby’s nap. In our home this can be a simple as learning to bake to welding and knife crafting! Providing tools, as well as the time, space and also permission is what will make it happen.

Give them opportunities to be creative

The boys really just need a bit of time in order for their creativity to be engaged. This is easier to achieve with screen time boundaries in place. Boredom is imagination’s companion. They usually need the one in order for the other to show up. So, we make sure that outside of our schedule and routines the boys have plenty of open-ended time to be able to decide for themselves what sounds fun to do. This can be working on hobbies, dress-up role play games, jumping on the trampoline etc. Currently, our boys are into customizing and remaking over old hot wheels and model cars.

Draw or color while listening to a book together

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I am very intentional about rest time during the afternoons. This is a great space of time for the boys to decompress and rest, especially on a hot day. One of the activities we enjoy doing during this time is coloring or drawing while we listen to an audiobook. (See below for some we love!) I setup the paper and coloring supplies at the table and turn on a book, and before you know it, the boys have gathered around to draw. Our favorite website for free coloring pictures is supercoloring. Our boys really enjoy the realistic animal drawings on there, but there are plenty more to choose from. They also enjoy learning how to draw cartoons from Art For Kids Hub. We find many of our audiobooks for free either via Librivox or the Libby app through our local libary.

Spend time outside in nature together

Currently, our favorite way to spend time outside together is biking. Strapping the 2 littles up in the trailer for a ride together is something we can all enjoy. Being outside is the most natural activity I enjoy with our boys. They can literally run free uninhibited, and holler as loud and they want – most of the time. We find whatever local trails we can to frequent, or head out to the mountains for a more intense hike.

We also love getting out by the water as much as possible. A quick jaunt down to the river to fish for crawdads and frogs, or out to a lake to cool off. Setting up a slip and slide or sprinkler under the trampoline is another fun activity for a hot day. Giving them space to just be boys is such a valuable part of our summer memory making.

Get them into a great book series

Last, but not least, we seek out a great book series for them to get lost in. This can be hard sometimes, as each child has different reading paces at different ages, as well as preferences. Our local library makes it easier to try something and return for something else if it doesn’t work out. Having a great adventure series to get lost in outside in the shade or on the hammock is a wonderful way to spend a hot day. Some of our favorite series that our kids have loved over the years are listed below.

Early readers:

• Little Bear
• Frog and Toad
• Nate the Great
• Henry and Mudge
• Magic tree house
• The secret zoo

Middle school lit:

• Redwall
• Keeper of the Lost Cities
• The Chronicles of Narnia
• The Lord of the Rings
• Little Britches
• Farmer Boy and The Long Winter
• The Wingfeather Saga
• 100 cupboards series

Fave Juvenile lit classics

• Where the Red Fern grows
• The Yearling
• Summer of the Monkeys
• Men of Iron
• Robin Hood
• The White Company

I hope these ideas have give you some inspiration for ways to keep your boys happily, creatively and productively engaged this summer! Thanks for being here in my little corner today, as always!

The post Screen free ways we keep our boys busy in the summer appeared first on A Legacy In Days.

Our culture wants to convince us that we should not discipline our children. They want to offer many different methods aside from the ones God has laid out in His word. Pointing us away from our rightful authority over our children, to false promises of obedient children with no oversight. We believe these are just plain lies! Obedience is the path to blessing. We have seen God’s faithfulness in the way he has established order. And, when heeded, bears joy and fruit. That is where we desire to walk. Not following this or that whim of society, but Biblical truth.

I want to share with you our thoughts and experiences with hopes of encouraging you in your parenting journey. As well as offering some clarification on where we stand. With so much noise from the world on this topic, it can often be a confusing subject and discussion.

A disclaimer

Often what we are looking for in these types of articles is a fast track method to obedient children. Unfortunately, I’m here to tell you, there isn’t one. But, I can offer you hope that the work and effort of applying godly child training principles in your home will bear fruit. God blesses obedience- YOUR obedience. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it.

This is not going to be an exegetical thesis on what the Bible says about child training. I will leave some books down below for further reference that have done a wonderful job helping us along in that. Through our study of scripture, and humbly applying ourselves to seek God’s wisdom over the years, we have uncovered some general truths that have shaped how we parent, and make decisions about particulars.

What biblical discipline looks like in our home- some distinctives

• Our children are sinners in need of saving grace, as we are.
• Children are a blessing from the Lord, and good gifts from him. All. The. Time.
• Our children are not outside the covenant promises, but within them.
• We are under God’s authority and must obey His standard. Therefore, we are called to discipline our children according to those standards (not the world’s nor our own whims)
• Because God has given us this authority, He will equip us with what is needed for this responsibility.
• Our children’s primary duty is to obey us, their parents.
• Knowing God deeper, deepens our understanding of how to parent as he does us. In other words, our own relationship as children to our heavenly Father is of primary importance to how we parent.
• Learning more how Jesus led his disciples teaches us how to lead our little “flock”.
• Each of our children are unique individuals and have differing strengths, weaknesses and gifts given to them by God.

What Biblical discipline looks like in our home- defined

“And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.”
‭‭Deuteronomy‬ ‭6:6-7‬ ‭

Oftentimes, where we get hung up when it comes to discipline, is misunderstanding the difference between training and discipline. Discipline is just a component of child training. It is the means of enforcing necessary training in particular cases but it is not the primary means of training our children. 

Firstly, training is the main component in parenting our children. This is something we are doing all the time with our children. We are teaching, guiding, directing and exemplifying all kinds of things to them all the time. Whether we are aware of it or not! So, we desire to be intentional about seeking to do so biblically.

The Bible says we are to teach them the things of God “when we lie down, and when we rise up”. This is the basis of training. We are seeking to establish a loving, caring, trusting relationship with our children. We desire that the atmosphere in our home permeates with the love of God overflowing to them, which includes teaching them to love his law and standards.

What it is

Secondly, we discipline when a child is defiant or rebellious. Not for every infraction, but when their will crosses ours and they will not yield to us as their God given authority. We see in scripture that God disciplines those He loves, yet we also see that he gives many second chances to His children. He is very slow to exact any punishment, yet He is constantly guiding, directing, calling and seeking His own.

When a child will not obey, or is defiantly disrespectful, their willful sin breaks fellowship with us. We are under God’s authority as our children are under ours. God gives us the responsibility to bring our child back into fellowship.

The means

“For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.””
‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭12:6‬ ‭

Consistently using the means God has given us, has born fruitful obedience. This can vary from a stern verbal reproof (calmly and not in anger), or the rod as needed. Showing them where they have sinned and guiding them to yield their will. This is an appeal to their will. Not manipulation. The object being, that with maturity, by and by they will gain self control. Results and mere compliance are not the only goal. We are desiring to bend their will, but not crush their spirit.

After they are disciplined, we look to see them yield by seeking forgiveness and restitution. Sometimes we will prompt them with, “What do you need to do now?” or ”What do you need to say?” Then we freely give forgiveness, pray with and for them and joyfully welcome them back into fellowship.

There are different means and applications for different situations and we do not do it all perfectly all the time. This is actually what helps us the most in our parenting- seeing how imperfectly we follow Him, yet He keeps calling us back to Himself, teaching us, guiding us, and giving us grace. Our own parenting shortcomings keep us humble to see how God is so patient with us as we fail.

When we react in anger, are harsh, lose our temper, get lazy, or lack follow through, he is there ready to forgive us. We know we don’t obey perfectly. This is how we can give grace to our own children- as we have received it ourselves. Jesus was the only perfectly obedient child and He covers us, so we can go forth in confidence and in forgiveness as we parent our own.

What it is not

In this light, discipline is not meant to be used for our own prideful gain.

Nor for when we’re embarrassed or frustrated by immaturity.

Immaturity and childhood silliness, does not, by itself, break fellowship.

We are called to be the mature one in those scenarios. To put our own pride or selfishness aside and love them and use those opportunities to train and teach them. Unyielding willful sin is what breaks fellowship. Our own sanctification is at work here alongside our children’s.

What Biblical Discipline looks like in our home- the blessings

“For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.”
‭‭

Hebrews‬ ‭12:11‬ ‭

This is a loving and grace-filled thing to do. Giving grace to your child does not mean leaving them to their own means to deal with the sin they are entangled in. It is grace that seeks them out, lovingly guiding them back to obedience.

This is what loving discipline does.

Not manipulative anger and wrath.

Loving discipline.

Discipline is also a means we have of teaching the gospel. As our children encounter wrestling with their will and flesh, they are repeatedly confronted by their own depravity and need for a Savior. We get to direct them to Jesus, and his offering of forgiveness over and over again. For us, personally, a few of our children have come to a knowledge of saving faith right after being disciplined. The burden of sin is not one any of us were meant to carry on our own.

Our children seeing us fail, repent and continuing to seek to be obedient in this area, has encouraged them in their own struggles and obedience. It has not undermined our authority to admit wrong, it actually affirms it in our children’s eyes. Respect is gained when they see us having to humble ourselves and apologize when we sin as well.

Strong willed children

Shepherd the flock of God that is among you, exercising oversight, not under compulsion, but willingly, as God would have you; not for shameful gain, but eagerly; not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock.

1 Peter 5:2 &3

Our strong willed and stubborn children respect us more and have a more calm response the more they see we are just as “stubbornly” not going to let them defy us. Those children need a firmer approach. Not harsh. Firmly, but gently holding them accountable. Meaning WE have to be consistent and more stubborn than them to earn that respect and trust from them.

This seems to be why these kids have a tendency to “act up” or “misbehave” in settings that are unfamiliar, stressful, or like when a new baby comes. I know- the worst! But, if we can see these as opportunities to show them we care by our loving and firm discipline, they happen much less frequently.

Finally, Biblical discipline establishes trust with our child. They will see you as the parent that will do what it takes to restore them and lovingly rescue them in their sin and more and more trust your loving consistency.

A loving relationship established within a framework of boundaries enforced by loving consistent discipline will give your child confidence in you as their parent. Leading them towards trust in their God who cares for us all.

I plan to, Lord willing, get into some more specifics in future posts on what discipline looks like for our family in particular seasons, ages, and stages.

My prayer for you and your family is that you will see the blessings of biblical obedience in your home and reap the fruits of a joy filled and peaceful life as you humbly seek the Lord in this matter.

Thanks for joining me, as always, here in my little corner of the interwebs!

The post What biblical discipline looks like in our home- part 1 appeared first on A Legacy In Days.

Today I am sharing some ways that we are teaching gratitude in our family this season and in general! As we say- more gratitude = less attitude. I also have a fun printable that you can download right now and start noticing the joy, good and beauty around you, too. Scroll down for our list of books we have enjoyed about the real Thanksgiving story and it’s history.

Cultivating gratitude has been on our hearts and minds recently more than usual. We have alot going on in our family and it seems like most sinful attitudes can stem from ungratefulness. Just think about how hard it is to have a selfish attitude when we feel grateful! This goes for our children, AND ourselves! So we are digging into refocusing our attention to notice all the good, the beauty, the joy and the generous gifts God bestows on us everyday that tend to go unnoticed.

Teaching gratitude and being grateful all the time is not something we have down! In fact, we don’t expect to ever get to a place where we have “arrived”. We are all bent toward seflishness, ingratitude, and discontentment and have to work constantly to cultivate gratitude in our home. We so commonly default to our sinful apathy and complacency without looking for areas we can grow and change in. So we seek to remind ourselves often of these principles that we strive to cultivate first in ourselves and teach in our homeschool and family life as well.

It can be difficult to raise kids in an over materialized and entitled culture, but we have to fight against the tide of our culture for what is biblical. Being intentional to create an atmosphere of thanksgiving will reap so much fruit in your family!

10 ways we seek to teach gratitude

1. Pray and ask God to open our eyes to His blessings even in the small things
2. Visit and befriend those who might be in harder circumstances than we are
3. Giving acts of service for each other and to others
4. Read stories (also movies) about those who have faith and gratitude in hard circumstances
5. Going without something we want for a set amount of time or giving it up altogether
6. Distrubuting chores and responsibilities so everyone has a role and a part to what they receive
7. Not over indulging, practicing moderation- needs vs. wants
8. Keeping our material items pared down & minimized as much as possible
9. Look for the hidden gifts and blessings and sharing them with others
10. Keeping a visual list of what we are grateful for (little kids can draw pictures)

As we come up on the season where we intentionally spend time giving thanks, let’s remember where our thanks should be directed towards. As we see everything good thing from the Lord, we will begin to have our hearts and minds filled with all the beauty and joy that is around us already.

“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.”
‭‭James‬ ‭1:17‬ ‭‬‬

Thanksgiving books that teach gratitude

Pocohantos by Ingri & Edgar Parin d’Auliare

An enjoyable, beautifully illustrated story of the Indian princess. A great read aloud for your little to middle kids.

Squanto’s Journey

A fun picture book story for your older elementary grade students.

Squanto Friend of the Pilgrim’s

An good story of bravery for your beginning readers and early elementary students.

If you sailed on the Mayflower in 1620

Fun insiders perspective on the Mayflower journey. Great to read to your inquisitive kiddos!

If you were at the first Thanksgiving

Another insider’s perspective with great discussion inducing questions for your older elementary to middle school students.

Sarah Morton’s Day

This book is on our to be read list this year! Looks like a good one for my independent readers!

Squanto by Eric Metaxes

This is also on our to be read list! We’ve enjoyed some of Eric’s other books!

The Thanksgiving Story

A fun read aloud take on the Pilgrim’s story for your little guys.

And here are some free prints for you to enjoy this month! Click on any of the pics below to download and get started enjoying and cultivating thankfulness this season!

Pin & Share

Thanks for stopping my my little corner of the interwebs!

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The post 10 ways we are teaching gratitude in our home appeared first on A Legacy In Days.

We recently returned home from a 10 day road trip to the west coast to visit the ocean and extended family. I grew up in the Northwest visiting the ocean beaches every summer, so it was so meaningful to get to share this area with our kids.

With it’s large luscious foliage, majestic evergreens and crisp salty beaches, it was a sensory delight for the kids. We were blessed with gorgeous weather most of the trip and loved every minute of juicy black berry picking, forest trail exploring, digging in the sand and splashing in the waves!

What tips for traveling as a large family I will cover

PACKING
TRAVEL
STAY
ATTITUDES
RETURN HOME

We had prayed before we set out asking specifically that we would not have any vehicle issues because our previous long trips had been full of those! Well, God heard and answered our prayers! The van did great, so did all the kids, and we had lovely weather most of the time with no derailments! A first for us!

Because we are a homeschooling family, we already spend a lot of time together and naturally have some strategies and systems in place which makes these larger quantities of time together more manageable. However, no matter what the size of your family is, in order to avoid a state of constant chaos with kids, some systems and strategies are very helpful.  

Tips for traveling as a large family– packing

1. Create a printable packing list for everyone
2. Pack 2 bags if staying in multiple locations
3. Limit toys & extras to a specified size bag

Create a printable packing list for everyone

I give this list to the older kids in time for them to have rounded up what they need for the trip or have it washed. The kids ages 10+ do their own laundry, so they can have their things washed and ready for packing the day BEFORE we leave. I usually only have to help the 10 year old and supervise the 12 year old. I go through their bag with them on packing day just in case anything was looked over. The oldest kids do well enough on their own.

I pack for the youngest 3 kids with them helping as desired. It takes me a few hours to pack for them, myself and the baby for a long trip like this, so I plan accordingly, and don’t expect to be able to throw it together in a jiffy! I gather what we’ll need and put it in the garage or by the front door we’ll be loading from as I go. This way I can see the progress and keep track of what’s left. I take care of the packing and my husband (and older kids now) do all the loading into the car and pack the miscellaneous items like strollers etc.

Pack 2 bags if staying in multiple locations

We usually road trip with a maximum windshield time each day of 8 hours. Which means we often have a stay over on our way to our final destination. We try to plan our route to stay with friends and family on our way in, too, so we don’t try to max our day driving and show up fried. It’s more fun to leave a little time margin to visit or swim in the hotel pool.

Because of this, we pack a backpack with the nights on the road’s worth of clothes, jammies and a swim suit. We leave a larger duffle for our extended stay that we don’t even need to open until we arrive. This saves sanity when unloading and reloading. All the kiddos can carry their own backpack in and know where to find and put their things on the short stays.

Limit toys and extras to a specified size bag

We let the kids pack whatever toys or fun things they want as long as it fits in a reasonable sized bag. We use small backpacks, but even if you want to make it a ziplock they love to have freedom within limits. Pillows and a blanky are freebies. But, if we let them pack whatever they want it can quickly get ridiculous! For the size of our van a backpack easily fits under their seats and is a manageable amount for them.

Tips for traveling as a large family– travel time (air or car)

1. Activities tote to share and rotate
2. Set timer and alternate activities (plus screen time)
3. Pack healthy snacks along with fun treats
4. Play interactive games together

Activities tote to share and rotate

I used to buy everyone some fun activities for their backpacks, but I learned that was just too much for them to keep track of and created more chaos in the car and quick boredom. Instead, we keep a small flat latching lid tote that has drawing, writing, and reading activities for the kids in it to rotate and share. This has helped keep things more clean, while also keeping things fresh and new. Plastic trays like these also work well for this, as well as providing a place to play and keep track of small toys.

I can usually find enough options at the Dollar store and pickup extra coloring things while I’m at it.

I include things like:

• Crosword puzzles
• Word search books
• Trace by number
• Coloring books
• Clipboard with plain paper
• Markers
• Fun sticker activity books

Set timer and alternate activities (and screen time)

If there are a limited amount of devices to share, we like the kids to take 30 minute turns to share them fairly. Or, you can set specific timers for reading, devices, listening to music, etc. It helps break up the time between stops and creates less boredom if they aren’t playing until they choose to be done. We also have certain things everyone does while the baby sleeps. It’s easier to say- “Everyone can play the iPad when the baby falls asleep!” Than “Not yet, not yet, not yet.” Also motivates kids to be quiet so the littes can fall asleep!

Make sure to bring enough chargers for devices, and maybe try downloading some fun new games or movies for the kids to watch on the trip.

Audiobooks and fun music are a great things to do together as a shared activity. Create a playlist before you leave of your favorite songs, or get some books downloaded everyone can enjoy together. We have such a diverse age demographic in our family and fairly large van, so we usually just listen to books individually. But if your kids are closer in age, this a fun thing to do together. Most quality juvenile lit is usually enjoyable for we adults, too!

Here is a great list on READ ALOUD REVIVAL of audiobook recommendations to get you started.

Our kids’ favorite iPad games currently are:

• Dragonvale
• Sneaky Sasquatch
• Asphalt 8
• Crossyroads

Pack healthy snacks & special treats

We like to bring a cooler that sits between us in our big van that we pack with healthy snacks and treats. Usually the snacks help ward off low blood sugar between stops for a heartier meal, but also help aid boredom in between activities as needed.

We usually include things like:

• fruit: grapes, clementines, blueberries, bananas
• cheese sticks
• healthy bars
• rice crackers and crisps
• breakfast items: muffins, egg bake cut in pieces
• Special treats make the trip fun and can be another activity! (see below)

Play interactive games together

Playing games together is part of the fun of traveling together. Have set times you do things alone and then together keeps the atmosphere fun and inviting. Here are our top 10 favorite games to play in the car or anytime we are tempted by boredom.

1. License plates by state 
2. Scavenger hunt for kinds of places/ signs/ words etc 
3. Letters of the alphabet in order on signs or cars
4. Sequential numbers from license plates
5. Pick a make and model of car to look for- winner gets to pick next car (boys love this)
6. Sing songs with rounds if you know them!
7. Play I packed my bag and brought “_____” in alphabetical order taking turns and the next person has to say all items previously said then add one. 
8. Look up funny jokes or memes to share
9. Play “I’m thinking of something”
10. Treat fun- Who can blow the biggest bubblegum bubble? Who can suck the sucker without biting it the longest?

Bonus tips for traveling as a large family- on the road with littles

Tips for traveling as a large family- stay

1. Designate a space for your things
2. Unpack clean clothes in drawers if staying an extended visit
3. Keep dirty clothes separate from clean ones
4. Have a clean and dirty swim outfit if staying near sand/dirt
5. Have designated tidy times
6. Get kids ready for bed before they are tired
7. Keep similar sleep routines

Designate a space for your things

Assign a space for your things- especially shoes! This makes heading out the door for fun easier when you can find the toddler’s shoes. Hang coats on hangers, keep bags in the same spot and have a place where the kids know where and how to hang their wet swim clothes or towels.

Unpack clean clothes in drawers if staying an extended visit

If staying an extended stay, unpack the clean clothes into drawers and put dirty clothes in the bag as they go. We’ve found this makes it easier for little kids to find their clothes in a drawer than stuffed back in their bag or all over the floor. This keeps things more familiar for them, and easier to keep the space tidy. It also makes packing to go home easier and unpacking once you get home.

Keep dirty clothes separate from clean ones

We find it helpful to keep dirty clothes separate from clean clothes, whether they are in drawers or different bags. The kids have an easier time finding something clean to wear without dumping the contents of the bag or drawer out this way. This is super helpful when camping, at the beach or anywhere there is sand and dirt that will get all over the still clean clothes. 

Have a clean and dirty swim outfit if staying near sand/dirt

We had a pool swim outfit and a beach swim outfit so we weren’t getting pool suits sandy, and having to wash between. If you can have more than one of each- even better- as they never seem to dry out fast enough for the all the swimming fun!

*BONUS TIPS:

BABY POWDER IS A LIFE SAVER FOR GETTING WET SAND OFF! RUB IT ON AND WIPE IT AWAY WITH THE NOW DRY SAND! PLUS EVERYONE SMELLS FRESH AFTER.

A HAIR DRYER COMES IN HANDY TO DRY A WET SUIT IN A PINCH

Have designated tidy times

Vacation is certainly not the time to be uptight about cleanliness and organization, but a certain amount of order goes a long way toward a more relaxing stay for everyone. We have found just having some set quick pickup times, like before nap or bed, before we leave or get back can keep the place in reasonable order. Have everyone just put their things where they belong. Don’t worry about crumbs on the floor or stress if the bags are untidy, just putting things back in their area and pathways clear will help everyone find their things when they need them and keep Mom from being the designated finder.

I like to make our bed and the little’s bed for the day. I think it helps to be able to sit, snuggle, rest and relax easier on a made bed, but I don’t ask the older kids to make theirs. It is my preference. Whatever sounds to you like it would make your stay more enjoyable for minimal work is what I’m getting at here.

Get kids ready for bed before they are tired

At first sign of tiredness try to get kids in jammies BEFORE they’re exhausted and the inevitable melt down takes place. Ask me how I know! Even if they get to come back to the campfire etc- not having to go get teeth brushed, or find blankies when they are already exhausted can prevent a stressful bedtime. It’s so nice to have a little one fall asleep on dad’s lap while visiting when they are ready and their beds are, too.

Keep similar sleep routines

We’ve found it doesn’t  have to be at the same times, but the same order helps the most. Do they always have a bath at home before bed, then a story? Than keep that routine as much as possible. Do they have a fan on or sleep sound machine? Make sure to pack one or use a music app on your phone. Our little guys love listening to an audio book, music or sleep music on the first few nights of adjusting. A few extra minutes of reassuring pattern can make such a  difference to a peaceful put down and sleep.

Tips for traveling as a large family- organizing attitudes

Togetherness can be stressful

Part of travel is having to all adjust to “togetherness”. This is likely easier if you homeschool as you are already used to dealing with conflict resolution on a regular basis. Otherwise, that is likely the biggest problem to come up. And it WILL come up. Kids will get irritable, littles will melt down, teens will argue about seating arrangements but it is how we handle it that makes all the difference. If we expect these occurrences and have a plan in action of how to deal with them it will make the outcome so much better.

Parent preemptively

Try to decide ahead of time with your hubby how and who will deal with public outbursts/ meltdowns (if you don’t already have an action plan) remember their frame and give as much warning time, and preemptive notice and warning as you can. For example, a quick reminder of how to behave in a restaurant, what’s expected and consequences before actually going in, helps to minimize problems.

Also we like to encourage beforehand  toward the positive IE- “How nice for Auntie and Uncle to host us, let’s be kind and pick up our toys and say lots of pleases and thank yous so they know how happy and grateful we are to stay with them and eat their yummy food!”   

Remember this isn’t the time to deal with larger deeper issues that you might notice while you have this concentrated time together- those can be noted and dealt with later. This is, however, a great time to affirm and encourage all the great things you do see new in your kiddos and correct and maintain your current discipline strategy without trying to invent a new plan of action. You might go home with a list of things to reinforce in training, but don’t make vacation all about that. 

Tips for traveling as a large family- return home

1. Unload dirty clothes bags immediately
2. Put away clean clothes as you go
3. Vacuume out suitcases
4. Let them down gently

Unloading everything into the house and immediately putting the dirty clothes either in hampers or the laundry room will help your mind feel more at ease. That way any clean clothes in bags can be found, if needed, before the bags are all unpacked.

Have the kids put any clean clothes back into their drawers and bring you their suitcase. I vacuum the suitcases out real quick before tucking them away because there is always something left in a pocket, even if it’s just sand that we don’t want on our things the next trip!

Coming back from a vacation whirlwind of fun can be a hard left down, so I like to ease us ALL back in gently, if I can. I try to do one small fun thing the next day, like a special movie and popcorn, a trip to the park, or even just new coloring pages to color. Plus, I try not to get so caught up in getting everything back in order that I am not as present to just be there for the little ones who are not quite readjusted and might need more reassurance time from Mommy. Things will get there in time, the clothes will eventually be washed, the kids will be adjusted and excited to play with their own things again, like most things, they just need a little time.

Plan, pack and travel with intention and you will have some extra bandwidth for a creative fun time together! Hope this was helpful for you today, friend!

Tried any of these? Let me know in the comments below which were the most helpful and add your own!

Thanks for being here in my little corner!

The post Tips for traveling as a large family appeared first on A Legacy In Days.

There I was, in the bathroom, huddled with my knees to my chest. The fan on trying to tune out the noise outside the door, the noise in my head. My eyes red and puffy from crying. My cheeks tear stained. I was immobilized again by my own emotions. Even as I was atttempting to help my little guy through his own overwhelm, mine flooded over me and I exploded in anger and tears, running out of the room!

How can I help my child wrestle through his overwhelming emotions when I can’t even do it myself? How can I expect him to calm down, when I myself don’t even know how? These thoughts racing through my head. 

How to have a patience when you feel overwhelmed– Why we feel overwhelmed

There are logistical reasons that can lead to overwhelm, which I hope to discuss in a future blog post, but today I just want to cover a little bit about the mindset that can be at the root first.

The Spirit convicts, but the devil condemns.

 It was in that moment that the Spirit ministered to my heart and I was washed over with peace. I knew that those condemning thoughts were not the Spirit of God but my flesh and the forces of evil wanting to pull me down. It was not about me not being good enough or not able or lacking the power to, but relying on Christ’s strength to enable me.

 You see, I just wanted an outcome. I wanted an input=output scenario. I did the right thing, now my child should respond accordingly, kind of attitude.  But I was convinced by the Spirit there on the bathroom floor that it was not about ME doing it, but relying on Christ to just be obedient and faithful to my calling. The outcome was not my responsibility. Control over the circumstance was not the objective, but the yielding of my soul and heart to His will for me. Because He loves me, cares for me and has already conquered that sin I was struggling with.

I have had so much more peace in my parenting since that moment. Do I still struggle? Of course, but the power of that gripping anger mounting doesn’t control me anymore. I know now that I can trust the Spirit to enable me to obey him and yield up of myself. This not only models obedience to my own children, but it is also the means I have seen God use to help my children through similar feelings.

You are not alone if you have wondered how to have patience when you feel overhelmed as a mom

We can overcome these difficult moments by the power of the Spirit working in us! This is good news! Christ has overcome sin and death! His work on the cross on our behalf means sin no longer has POWER over us!

If you have ever been here, you are not the only mama crying with the fan on in the bathroom to drown out the sound of your own sobs and maybe even the sounds of your little ones on the other side of the door. But it doesn’t always have to be this way. We can learn ways of yielding our responses and situation to the Lord so that He can be glorified as we delight in serving Him. 

How to have a patience when you feel overwhelmed: 3 tips

I want to offer you 3 ways  today how to be patient when you’re overwhelmed so that you can have a few tools to work through these moments in a Biblical way and respond instead of reacting in frustration.

Believe me, if I can- you can too! Patience is not something I am naturally prone to! I am naturally a quick-tempered, fiery redhead! Hah! But I can say with honesty, that when I am struggling with patience the most, it is when I am relying on myself to “fix” or control my circumstance or child. Today there are much fewer moments I lose my cool than moments I am able to work through the overwhelm with a sense of calm resolve.

3 tips

1. Slow down
2. Seek first to understand before being understood
3. Model the maturity you hope to instill

2. Seek first to understand before being understood

A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1

He’s done it again- melted into a puddle on the floor. “I can’t!’, he cries through sobs. “I can’t put on my shoes! I don’t know where they are, and I don’t want to go!” The baby’s on my hip, the car is started, everyone else is getting ready to load up. The diaper bag slides off my shoulders as they sag. I feel like being the one that melts into a puddle.

How to have patience when you feel overwhelmed by your child’s frustration, as well as your own? Sometimes frustrating moments come up with our children because we are wanting them to just do what we say. But if we can take a moment to actually hear them, and respond to them accordingly, we can often diffuse a heated moment. 

For example, you might think your child is just throwing a fit about putting his shoes on. But, upon further observance you might find out that the reason is perfectly legitimate. Maybe a sock is bunched up uncomfortably inside their shoe or they feel panicky that they won’t be able to find them soon enough. You get the idea. There are a myriad of reasons why they could be reasonably upset. They’re just not able to express what they are feeling. It is our job to respond in a way that  teaches them how to clearly communicate what they need so we can help them. 

How to have a patience when you feel overwhelmed- some helpful phrases to use

I like to use phrases such as,

“Ok. I am here. It’s ok. Let’s see what the problem is.”

“How can I help you?” 

“Are you stuck?” 

“Are you uncomfortable?” 

I try not to use a battery of these questions in a row. Just calmly asking one at a time as I listen. Or simply seek to help them communicate what they need to you calmly. Assuring them you are there to help them! 

How to have patience when you feel overwhelmed by your child’s disobedience

Another situation where the child is upset can be because you have asked them to do something they are refusing to do. As soon as you have done what I shared  above and you can see they actually DO NOT want to put said shoes on, you are usually in a rational state of mind instead of just reactionary and emotional. This places you in a good position to respond with resolve.

 I still feel it is my responsibility to teach them how to communicate, not just to get those silly shoes on. My desire is to reassure them that I’m on their team, but I must stand my ground. Using phrases that clarify what they’re feeling can be a way to reassure them of this.

Helpful phrases to use

“Ok, you don’t want to go. I understand. It’s hard to leave early. It’s hard for me too. But the dentist is waiting and it’s time to go now. How can I help?”

“I see you are upset, but you still need to _____ How can I help you obey? Because if you won’t obey, there will be consequences.” 

Notice the difference in the scenarios? There is usually a “can’t” attitude when assistance is needed, or a “won’t” attitude when it’s more a mode of disobedience.

Sometimes just repeating what they are feeling will be enough for them to see you are on their team. It’s important that they see you desire to help them. You’ve set clear boundaries and if they won’t submit their will, at least you know you have submitted your own will by not getting upset and trying to control them or manipulate them. 

I will add, this helps at any age. If my TEENS are upset, and I calmly seek to understand them first, we can diffuse a lot of unnecessary disagreements before they even start!

3. Model the maturity you want to instill

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. ‭John‬ ‭13:34‬ ‭

“Fine! Then I’m never coming out! ” The door slams, I jolt. My shoulder’s droop, my head drops. This was not the response I was anticipating when I asked him to go calm down in his room until he was ready to obey. I am tempted to tell him that is “FINE WITH ME, AND YOU CAN JUST STAY IN THERE AS LONG AS YOU LIKE!”. Buuuut…

( I learned this phrase from the book Love and Respect)

Now the stage is set and there are many ears and eyes listening and watching. 

When the emotions are up and I am feeling frazzled, I try to remind myself that I need to be the obedient one. I get to exemplify the maturity and behavior I want seen repeated in our home. This can stop me in my tracks quickly when I realize all the eyes are on me as I respond to the situation. Would I want my children to respond the way I am tempted to in the moment? Can I use this “opportunity” to model for them a biblical response under pressure, stress, overwhelm etc?

I can pray and ask God for the grace to show them what obedience looks like, or I can respond as willfully as my child. One response will yield peace, while the other adds fuel to the fire of strife in our home.

 This has gotten easier for me to be aware as my children have gotten older. I see them exemplifying how I parent with how they treat their siblings. It can be a painfully clear mirror of humility sometimes and also a great perspective. I want to aim to lead with love and forgiveness as they watch me as a parent.  

I hope these tips encouraged you today to seek to yield your emotions, your time, and your spirit to Christ’s leading you today in parenting patiently.

You dont’ have to be a frazzled mama if you remember this work is about Him working in your heart, not just getting the outcome you hoped.

Usually the latter comes from the former, though. God is good and kind like that.

Let me know in the comments- what has been the biggest struggle for you in parenting?

What is God working in your heart right now for His glory?

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